Backtrack Boys

The Backtrack Boys documentary has been officially released and is screening in cinemas and other venues across Australia. It’s wonderful to see this inspirational film affecting people’s hearts and minds – Russell Crowe sent out an endorsement through Twitter, and the film won best documentary award at the Byron Bay Film Festival (as well as a string of Audience Favourite Awards at other film festivals). Well done to all the BackTrack boys, to Bernie Shakeshaft and to his fabulous team at BackTrack Youth Works, and to filmmaker Catherine Scott who brought this story together.

From 2007 to 2014, I was a volunteer youth worker/researcher at BackTrack, and I wrote about my experiences in a memoir called Wild Boys: A Parent’s Story of Tough Love (UQP, 2015). For the inside story on how Bernie Shakeshaft and his team of helpers transformed a fledgling grass-roots youth welding initiative into a hugely successful youth work organisation, Wild Boys is the perfect ‘companion book’ for the Backtrack Boys documentary. Bernie’s innovative youth work practices were in place right from the start, and they can be easily replicated to help other young people across Australia to reconnect with their communities.

Over the last two months, the current group of boys in the BackTrack school program have been helping me out with various garden jobs. I’ve really enjoyed re-connecting with the BackTrack boys in this way – they’ve carted compost and mulch, cut down trees, stacked wood, and are building me compost bins and a new clothesline. Along with their teacher, they work bloody hard … and the world feels like a better place when they’re here.

The BackTrack boys rock!

 

The Backtrack Boys is a new documentary about Bernie Shakeshaft and the crew from BackTrack Youth Works. Following on from the early days of BackTrack which I wrote about in Wild Boys, the film features the stories of three boys – Rusty, Zach and Alfie – and shows the life changing transformation they undergo through their involvement with BackTrack and dogs and all that happens at the shed. At the film’s premier at the Sydney Film Festival five days ago, The Backtrack Boys received a well-deserved standing ovation.

Check out the The Backtrack Boys trailer and a recent article from the Northern Daily Leader:

Congratulations to filmmaker Catherine Scott and to all the crew at BackTrack!

Big screen debut: Armidale's highly renowned Backtrack program will be hitting the big screen on Sunday as one of the features of the Sydney Film Festival.

 

Long time, no blog post. I’ve been too busy writing songs, playing guitar, editing a manuscript, dreaming up wild and wonderful projects and chopping wood. Yes, winter has hit Armidale in a big way – frosty mornings, wood heaters, boots and coats. But all of that is about to change. This weekend I’m heading off to the Whitsunday Writers Festival (WWF) at Airlie Beach, where I’ll give a talk about Wild Boys and also present a two-hour workshop on memoir writing. From the looks of the program, Gloria Burley and the WWF team have put together a lovely intimate festival with guests including Sallyanne Atkinson, Mo Khadra, Craig Cormick, Linda Frylink Anderson and Pagan Malcolm. I think it’s going to be a fun weekend – I’ll be staying in a fancy beach resort at the Abell Point Marina and luxuriating in the tropical warmth. I’m really looking forward to this gig!

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Also, I recently met up with my dear friend Edwina Shaw for our 12th writers’ retreat at Evans Head. As always, we had a fabulous time (the photo below is evidence!). Along with our usual reading of each other’s work, Edwina and I started planning an Evans Head ‘Relax and Write Retreat for Women’. This weekend retreat, which will be held in early September, will include fiction, memoir and editing workshops, individualised editorial feedback, as well as yoga classes. More information and the booking form coming soon!

Helena and Edwina Evans Head 2017

 

Two days ago, an article in The Australian – ‘BackTrack project saving kids from lockup’ – featured the work of Bernie Shakeshaft, founder and manager of BackTrack Youth Works in Armidale. The article, which raised important points about keeping kids out of jail and working on alternative solutions to incarceration, mentioned how Bernie and the team at BackTrack commonly ask young people who join the program about their hopes and dreams in life. ‘It takes them a while to answer,’ noted Bernie, ‘because they’re not used to hearing that [question].’

The story of BackTrack and the emergence of Bernie’s hugely successful programs in Armidale and further afield are documented in my memoir Wild Boys: A Parent’s Story of Tough Love (UQP), and Bernie’s comment about ‘hopes and dreams’ reminded me of a chapter in Wild Boys called ‘The Scent of an Idiot’, some of which I’ll share below:

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Wild-BoysExcerpt from Wild Boys: A Parent’s Story of Tough Love (pp. 11-12)

One day, as Bernie and I sat together on the concrete ledge outside the shed, I’d asked him what the boys were like when he first met them. He shook his head and grimaced: ‘They were the wildest bunch of hoorangs you’re likely to come across!’

I laughed at his pained expression. He found his tobacco and rolled a cigarette, his habitual way of settling in for a chat.

‘There were some damaged kids in that group,’ said Bernie, his voice low. ‘It was almost too late to start with them. Hard-core kids, on the edge of going inside for violent bashings, already identified as hopeless troublemakers, a lot of them living away from home. For sixteen years they’d heard the only thing that matters is getting a school certificate, only to be told: “It’s all bullshit. You guys aren’t going to get there.”’ Bernie gave a scornful huff. ‘The schools hadn’t worked on the strengths and dreams of those kids.’

He paused for a moment to light his smoke. ‘It was like getting a bag full of wild cats and letting them out in one room where they couldn’t escape. The schools kept saying I had to stick with the rules … that the boys weren’t allowed to smoke or swear.’ Bernie whistled through his teeth. ‘For Christ’s sakes, you send me twenty of your wildest boys – all full-on swearers and smokers and blasphemers – and tell me to enforce the school rules? It was wild!’ He grinned, his face alive with the memory. ‘We had knives pulled in the welding shed, and just as soon as you’d be finished with the knife incident, the boss-man from the college would be yelling, “What the hell is that kid doing up on top of that three-storey building!” The boys would show up black and blue, on the piss and smoking bongs. Not all of them ended up here at the shed – some did well, some not so well. One of them died, another’s in jail.’

‘It’s hard to believe the boys were like that.’ I thought of Thommo with his quiet dignity. ‘Was Thommo that wild?’

Bernie rolled his eyes and groaned. ‘He was the craziest! He and his mates were riding bikes into poles and dropping garbage bins on each other’s heads from the highest roof at school. Whatever someone did that was dangerous, Thommo did something double-dangerous. Thommo wouldn’t just jump off the third storey of the building – he’d want to jump through three sheets of glass as well. Taking it to extremes. Crazy self-mutilation stuff.’

We sat quietly for a moment.

‘I did a lot of that as a kid myself,’ said Bernie. ‘Hardly a bone in my body I haven’t broken – from having no fear or need for self-preservation. Dealing with those kids rang a lot of bells for me because, all those years ago, I would’ve been one of those wild cats let out of the bag.’

 

I’m in the middle of moving … housesitting various places and living out of a suitcase while waiting for a bathroom to be completed in a lovely light-filled cottage in Uralla, a village fifteen minutes away from Armidale. Being caught in limbo land like this is a little challenging, but I’m trying to remember that change is a wonderful thing and that opportunities are flowing with change. It’s true. Lots of opportunities are arriving into my life – creative projects, work ideas, travel plans – and I’m also meeting some wonderful new people. About a year ago, when I was stuck in the editing wilderness of Wild Boys, I wrote a song called ‘Caravan Dreaming’ – about longing to escape in an old caravan I bought for my son’s 19th birthday. In a way, that dream has come about – all I’m missing is the caravan. I’m certainly living the gypsy life, and being temporarily homeless is teaching me some important lessons.

Speaking of songs, I’ve now completed the lyrics for fourteen songs for a ‘cradle to grave’ song-cycle collaboration that I’m doing with a local Armidale composer. Only two more songs to finish and I’ll be done with the writing. My collaborator has also been hard at work and has so far set eight of the songs. I’m really enjoying working on this project – it’s very exciting to hear my words set to beautiful music. Actually, it’s mind-blowing … and I just love it! The other day, I heard six new songs that my collaborator had set over the Christmas break, and it was one of the top experiences of my life. More! More! I’m already planning the next project … collaborating is addictive!

Meanwhile, sales for Wild Boys are going well. Over the last few months, I’ve been promoting the book through a series of guest talks at local clubs in the New England region – such as Rotary and Zonta. People from all walks of life seem interested in the book – parents, educators, school counselors, social workers and truancy officers – and that’s a wonderful thing, too. Finally, below is a photo from a performance of ‘homespun songs’ that I did with Chris Purcell and some other friends at a Buddhist gompa on a friend’s property late last year … such a special place to sing.

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Vajra Ling Gompa, December 2015

Well, it’s been a while … but all I’m going to say about my long absence is that publishing a memoir is a huge emotional experience. It’s only the last few weeks where I’ve felt like I’ve finally stepped off the rollercoaster, and I’m glad to have my feet back on the ground. In the midst of it all, I still managed to enjoy my time at the Brisbane Writers’ Festival in early September – it was lovely to see my friend Edwina again, and to meet some of the other guest writers and volunteers at the festival. Along with catching up with the team from UQP, I especially enjoyed meeting Susan Johnson at the festival launch. She’s one of my literary heroes, and, many years ago, I was inspired by her courageous memoir, A Better Woman. At the launch that night, the two of us discovered we have a shared interest in the life and writing of Charmian Clift, and it was good to chat about Clift’s time on the Greek island of Hydra, where I would like to visit one day.

Wild Boys has been chugging along nicely since it was launched into the world four months ago. In recent months, the book has attracted some very positive media attention … it was great to see it reviewed in the October Issue of Country Life magazine – ‘A deeply involving true confession’ – and in the November Issue of Child magazine. The Big Book Club has listed Wild Boys as one of their ‘Recommended Reads’ for November, saying it is ‘compelling reading for parents and for those working with young people’. And, back in August, Provoke magazine reviewed Wild Boys in their ‘Book News’ section and commented: ‘The perfect parenting book, minus the preaching.’ I’ve also received some lovely emails from readers, and I’m really glad that people are connecting so deeply with this story. The other big news is that Bernie Shakeshaft and the team at BackTrack Youth Works have been named Youth Service of the Year at the NSW Youth Work Awards – a wonderful achievement!

Otherwise, I’ve been getting back into a bit of socialising – meeting new people, having parties, singing harmonies with friends, writing lyrics for a ‘song cycle’ collaboration with a local composer, and feeling more at peace. I’m also reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic, which has helped me to remember the richness of a creative life and why it’s important to bring forth the treasures that are hidden inside us all.

 

 

Boys, Bernie, Annabelle and Helena[1]

On the 25th August, Wild Boys was officially launched at the BackTrack Shed by Professor Annabelle Duncan, the Vice-Chancellor of the University of New England. The launch was an exciting day for me … the public acknowledgement of years and years of hard work was very affirming, and what follows is the gist of the speech I gave that day.

Many years ago, when an early chapter of Wild Boys was published in Griffith REVIEW, Bernie Shakeshaft said to me: ‘How lucky are we that you came down to the shed.’ At the time, my response to him was: ‘How lucky am I that I came down to the shed’, and even though writing Wild Boys has involved a significant amount of personal sacrifice and hardship, I can still say: ‘How lucky am I? I got to be part of something – a whole other world – that not many women experience, and I learned a lot about life in the process.

One of the unexpected outcomes of writing Wild Boys is my ongoing affection for the BackTrack boys – both past and present. I’ve come a long way since my first day at the shed – when I rocked up, full of nerves, to find Bernie driving out the gate, saying: ‘I’ll be back soon… just go inside and meet the boys. They’ll show you around.’ It’s fair to say I was completely out of my comfort zone that day, but I soon realised that there was nothing to fear.

Like many things in life, we fear what we don’t know, and fear and prejudice usually arise from ignorance – from not understanding and not being able to feel empathy towards a group of people who are different to you. Part of the reason why I wrote Wild Boys was to provide an insight into the ‘wild boys’ in our community – to shine a light on what it is to be a teenage boy who, for various reasons, struggles at school and can become known as a ‘loser’ early in life, simply because he doesn’t fit the system. That’s a pretty harsh judgement for a society to make upon a young person, so I wanted to write something that would influence the way people think and feel about wild boys, something that might encourage them to care more and judge less.

Recently, I helped set up the school program at the shed, and I got to know some of the boys who are currently at the shed. One day, we had to go somewhere for lunch on the spur of the moment, so I said to the boys, ‘Let’s go to my house and have a BBQ there.’ When we reached my house, the boys jumped out of the troopie and dashed off to the backyard – where they started making a BBQ and cutting up onions and chopping wood and fixing the back fence and cutting back all the overgrown bushes in my garden.

I remember some people were surprised to hear I’d invited the boys back to my house that day, but I didn’t see any problem – because once again, there was nothing to worry about. Those boys were so generous with their help, and open and friendly – just as they’ve always been with me. I’m not at the shed much these days, but one of the joys of my life is when I’m downtown and I hear someone call out: ‘Hey, Helena!’ and I turn around and it’s one of the BackTrack boys. For some reason, that simple exchange always makes me feel like the world is becoming a better place.

The story of the seven original BackTrack boys who feature in this book is very moving. Yes, there’s a lot of swearing, and a few times where the boys lose their way. But when they were given help to get back on track, those boys made the choice to accept that help and move ahead in life – to rise above the trajectory that was set out for them and to emerge as winners, to become known as the ‘Magnificent Seven’ – and that was a wonderful thing to witness. At the back of Wild Boys is a section where those seven boys share the lessons they learnt from their time at the shed. It’s only recently that I’ve been able to read this section without becoming very emotional because the responses are so deep – so beautiful – and this is from a group of boys who, for the most part, struggled at school and were often in trouble with the police.

That’s why the BackTrack shed is so special – it gives young people who don’t fit the system a place to shine, where they too can emerge as winners in life. It’s like one of the boys says at the end of the book: ‘Everyone needs to find a place … and from there you can grow. The shed gave us that place.’

So, how lucky am I that I got to see all that happen – and to write about it so that others can also experience the beauty of what goes on down here and understand how positive change comes about in a community. Along with documenting the early days of BackTrack, Wild Boys also describes how Bernie helped me through a pretty challenging time in my life. I never expected to write about myself in this book, but, really, once I started coming along to the shed, there was no way that I was going to come out the other side of this experience without my life being transformed in some way because that’s what happens here – people’s lives are transformed.

I used to rely on Bernie’s help quite a lot, but he’s a good mentor – a good teacher – because I hardly ever need to ring him now. I still run into troubles, of course, but mostly, instead of ringing Bernie for help, I go back and think of the lessons I’ve learnt in the past – and how I can apply that knowledge to the current situation I’m struggling with. Many unique ‘Bernie-lessons’ are in the book – and I’m sure others will find them just as useful as I did.

Like I said, I don’t get down to the shed enough these days – I’m like the dog that runs along the outside of the pack – but I think I will always carry the experiences I’ve had at this shed close to my heart, especially some of those times with the BackTrack boys.

Crowd1[2]

 

Finally … a moment to catch my breath. The last few weeks have involved an avalanche of radio interviews – most of them live to air, which certainly had my adrenalin flowing. A few days ago, I had my final interview – with Steve Austin on ABC Radio Brisbane. I’ve really enjoyed the interviews, and I’ve talked to some wonderful radio presenters from around Australia and New Zealand. Thanks to Radio National (Life Matters and Nightlife), ABC Radio New England, ABC Regional WA Drive, ABC Brisbane Mornings, 2GB Sydney, Talk Network Queensland, 2AD Armidale, 2RE Taree, Radio New Zealand, Geelong 94.7FM and Radio Adelaide. The Armidale Express, the Northern Daily Leader and that’s life magazine also featured articles about Wild Boys, and Varuna Writers’ House did an alumni interview. An article will soon be appearing in The Sun Herald. It’s very affirming to see Wild Boys attract so much interest – obviously, people are still looking for answers on how to parent teenagers and understand the nature of wild boys (see Wild Boys for available podcasts).

Also, over the last month, Armidale has become a winter wonderland and my fire has been burning – literally and metaphorically – night and day. Amongst the hubbub of promoting the book, I’ve begun a new collaboration with a local composer – I’m writing lyrics for a song cycle he wants to do, and it’s very exciting to embark on a new project, especially one that isn’t a solo journey and won’t take years and years to complete. Collaborations are fun … and the creative possibilities of life suddenly seem endless again.

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PS: My PhD results came back a few weeks ago – only a handful of minor corrections to do and soon that journey is over!

I sent my brother a copy of Wild Boys the other day, and in return he sent me this photo, taken at Seven Mile Beach on the south coast of New South Wales:

Wild Boys on Seven Mile Beach

In his message, my brother said that he thought the spirit of our father – who we always called ‘Pup’ – was smiling on the beach that day. When Pup died in 2008, his ashes were scattered into the ocean at Seven Mile Beach. I think he would have liked Wild Boys – he was a bit of a wild boy himself during the Second World War in Amsterdam, and he was never one to miss an opportunity. He was also one to always ‘call a spade a spade’, and I guess I’ve inherited that trait from him. Like many of us, my father struggled to be a good parent when his children were teenagers, and he made a few mistakes along the way. I’m sure he’d be the first to acknowledge that he was pretty hard at times, but he always did his best. Anyway, I felt very happy when I saw this photo because it just seemed so ‘right’ to see Wild Boys in the place where my father’s spirit remains.